Trailer: Resident Evil 5

You didn’t think I’d pass up this trailer, now did you? Take one part of the teaser trailer for Resident Evil: Apocalypse (still one of the best teasers ever made, for my money, regardless of how crappy the movie turned out), one part all-out global warfare (with very few zombies in sight, to be honest), and if that’s not epic enough, throw in music from The Who and Inception Tron: Legacy [my bad] and then top it all off with a bunch of Sony product placement, and there you go. Milla Jovovich is ready to kick ass as Alice for the fifth time in Resident Evil: Retribution. One thing I’m unclear about – wasn’t that Michelle Rodriguez? As I recall, her character is a little bit….uh…dead. Flashbacks, I suppose? I wonder how Paul W.S. Anderson will manage that level of complexity.

I’ll be out opening weekend. Such is the duty required of Milla adoration.

Rank ‘Em: Milla Jovovich

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If there were still actual B-movies around these days, Milla Jovovich would undoubtedly be queen of them; even as it is, she’s made her career largely in lower-budget pulp films produced by either her ex-husband Luc Besson or her current husband Paul W.S. Anderson. Marina goaded me into putting together a Rank ‘Em for our favorite Ukranian-model-turned-actress, though it didn’t require much urging! Milla admittedly hasn’t been in that many good movies and she certainly has a reasonably well-defined range of acting ability, but she brings such a level of go-getter charisma to everything that I will almost unfailingly enjoy anything she’s in. Plus, girlcrush. They don’t have to make sense.

There are still a good many of her films that I haven’t seen, like The Fourth Kind, The Messenger, and Dummy, but here’s a good chunk, ranked by my Milla-viewing pleasure.

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Review: Resident Evil: Afterlife

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It’s a little bit pointless to review Resident Evil: Afterlife, which is why I didn’t even bother seeking out the Rotten Tomatoes score or any other reviews before rushing off to see it opening night. I mean, this is the fourth Resident Evil movie, with basically the same team behind all of them, though directors have changed a few times. You pretty much know what you’re getting into when you buy a ticket for this. If you expect much more than Milla Jovovich and Ali Larter looking hot and kicking ass while spouting ridiculous dialogue in a series of loosely tied together scenes, you’ll probably be disappointed. If not, enjoy it for the even sillier-than-most B movie it is.

Resident Evil: Extinction ended with classic sequel bait, with Alice (Milla Jovovich) promising to find Umbrella Corp bossman Wesker in his underground Tokyo lair and wipe him out, with the help of the army of clones Umbrella had been building to try to find a cure for the T-virus. Resident Evil: Afterlife picks up the story right there, with an all-out attack on Umbrella Tokyo. But Wesker gets away, destroying the facility behind him, and Alice (re-humanized by an injection that neutralizes the T-virus in her) sets off to find the rest of the Extinction group who had left to find Arcadia, a promised infection-free haven. Things don’t go as planned, Alice and Claire (an awesomer-than-I-expected Ali Larter, almost upstaging Milla a time or two) end up with another small group of survivors and eventually face off with Wesker again.

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Shallowness Alert: First Stills from Resident Evil Afterlife

Allow me to be shallow for a moment (again) and get excited about the upcoming fourth entry in the guiltiest of guilty pleasures Resident Evil series. I will go to great lengths to get my Milla fix (including actually purchasing Resident Evil movies on Blu-ray, though I have so far resisted buying Ultraviolet). As much as I love The Fifth Element, there’s only so many times I can watch it in a row.

Anyway. The first stills from Resident Evil: Afterlife have turned up on MySpace. That’s one up above; click through to see the rest. No sign yet of the gazillion Alices that ended RE3, but I’m sure they’ll turn up at some point. Because if one Milla is good…a gazillion Millas is better. Right? Right.

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Norton Plays with De Niro in Stone Trailer

Director John Curran is all over the map. Of his previous films, I’ve only seen The Painted Veil but that period drama is night and day from his new film Stone, a drama starring Edward Norton, Robert De Niro and Milla Jovovich.

Adapted by Angus MacLachlan (of Junebug fame) from his own play, it’s the story of a convict (Norton) who tries to manipulate his parole officer (De Niro) by using his wife (Jovovich). Admitedly, had I read this synopsis with no names attached, I would have passed it over but with Norton on board and Curran behind the camera, this is a must see.

I liked Curran and Norton’s previous colaboration and am willing to give this the benefit of the doubt. I only hope the film is better than this trailer suggests otherwise, it’s going to be a long and painful watch.

Stone is scheduled for release sometime next year.