Mondays Suck Less in the Third Row

Check out these links:
Michael Slovis to direct “Game of Thrones” (s5e1)
First glimpse at Horrible Bosses 2 (villains: Chris Pine/Christoph Waltz)
A few great Anime films you might’ve missed
@scottEweinberg list of horror now streaming on Netflix
Great explanation of the spacetime continuum
First footage with Phantom Flex4K (1000fps at 4k resolution)
Treasury of Fiction Concession Stand Promos (EAT!)
“Blue” continues on the wrong path?
Help Lt. Cmdr. Data get off the Enterprise (maze game)
To get rid of the PG-13 Rating or not to get rid of the PG-13 rating. That is the question.

Glorious Cinema “papers” by atipo

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Goodbye Doctor, Hello Captain: Eric Dane Joins Michael Bay’s ‘The Last Ship’

Eric Dane will be putting down his stethoscope to captain “The Last Ship,” a potential season-long series on TNT. The pilot was picked up by the network and roles are quickly being filled. Michael Bay is the executive producer of the action drama that is based on a popular novel by William Brinkley.

Testing the Waters

The plot of the story puts the crew of a naval destroyer in a precarious situation after a global catastrophe destroys the majority of mankind. explains how the characters are forced to face the reality of a new existence. They will have to rely on each other in a lonely world that has been reduced to minimal survivors. With a lively cast, experienced writers, dynamic director and executive producer extraordinaire taking the reins, “The Last Ship” is on its maiden voyage into the sea of TV.

At the Helm

The major players behind the project include Michael Bay (“Transformers,” “Armageddon”), writers Hank Steinberg (“Without a Trace”) and Steven Kane (“The Closer”) and director Jonathan Mostow (“Terminator 3”). The nautical-themed action-adventure pilot is set in the Barents Sea, due north of Norway and Russia, where the missile destroyer, the USS Nathan James, is on patrol. If the show follows the 1988 novel, there will be a nuclear war between the United States and Soviet Union killing practically everything off. The ship survives and its crew members are in search of their families, a new home and other survivors, according to

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Michael Bay and Das Führer

Yea, I know. The world needs another Downfall/Hitler parody like we need a hole in the head. And yes, this was online over a week ago, but in the holiday weekend it got lost in the shuffle and thus: I only saw it a few minutes ago. So. I just thought I’d share.

“That music video he shot for Vanilla Ice was Epic!”

Michael Bay loves Coen Brothers Supporting Players


At an entertaining and boisterous drink-up in a Toronto pub with an eclectic mix of film fans, filmmakers and writers last night, Mamo! Matt Price lamented that while there are Lebowski Fests all over the world, there are no Miller’s Crossing fests, and that started not only the germ of an idea. After all, it is a toss up behind Lebowski which is the more all-out quotable Coen Brothers movie – O Brother Where Art Thou?, Fargo or Miller’s Crossing – but I tend to side with the latter (and don’t you dare give me the high hat!) Nevertheless, there was a lament also that Jon Polito has not shown up in a Coen Brothers joint in some time, and that, kind moviegoers, is a damn shame.

Maybe Michael Bay will hire him to wear a G-String and be peed on or something for his next movie.

Huh? That’s a hell of a non sequitur there, isn’t it? Maybe not.

It is no secret, albeit I have heard no compelling explanation why, that Michael Bay tends to pilfer top notch character actors and then make them ham it up with bad dialogue (big air quotes around the d-word which is uttered with the utmost caution on a M-Bay set) and drops them into embarrassing situations to strip them of any dignity, joy or shame. Many folks have probably noticed that he is particularly fond of taking Coen Brothers regulars and dropping them into his film. For instance, Transformers 3 has no less than three actors: Frances McDormand, John Turturro and John Malkovich which ties Armageddon (Billy Bob Thorton, Steve Buscemi, Peter Stormare (the latter two who have a very good, but very distinctly Non-Fargo or Big Lebowski, scene together, but these two actors prolific as they may be – this might all be coincidence – but they also appear in several other Michael Bay features (Buscemi in The Island, Storemare in Bad Boys II). Also, William Forsythe (John Goodman’s highly amusing prison-pal from Raising Arizona) also shows up in The Rock.

All this to say that I’m not the first to notice this, and getting back to Jon Polito for a moment, this MovieLine article suggests that yea, if The Coen’s can’t find work for the man, then at least he should draw a big paycheck to stand in front of some Bayhem.

In the meantime, who wants to help get a Millers-Con off the ground? Hey, what’s the rumpus?

Review: “Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon” (2D)

Transformers 3 really doesn’t warrant an extensively thorough delve into the minutiae of every bit of texture, nook and seam found within; because quite frankly, there really doesn’t exist. But you know what? Despite Mark Kermode’s head bashing of the film, I quite enjoyed it. That is not to say there are no problems. Surprise! It’s chock full of them. All of the typical Bay-isms that people are constantly bashing the guy for are here. And it is certainly possible that I had the wool pulled over my eyes like I did with the first film. It was 2:30 in the morning when the film ended so my delirium may have clouded my judgement a bit. Either way, for the most part, I had fun. A LOT more fun than the dreadful Transformers 2. So again, not really worth diving into exactly, but one can make a checklist of the goods, the bads and the uglies. So here they are in a Wednesday morning (much like the movie) stream of consciousness…

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This Changes Everything….

We just received official word that the newest Transformer has just been announced. So without further ado the newest Autobot is the Ferrari 458 Italia. All I have to say is that this changes everything. I am now fully on board with the whole not needing a good plot, interesting characters and well filmed action.

Oh and Frances McDormand and John Malkovich are both in the next Transformers movie also.

p.s. This is my one an only post you will see from me about the next Transformers movie. The first one was the last one I watched. I now officially miss the days of The Rock when I thought that Bay was trying to make a fun of the whole action genre. Now I know different and a part of me has died.

Michael Bay’s Secret

“I want helicopters and black sports cars. I want a circus with fire breathers and explosions. I want half naked chicks bending over a broken motorcycle. I want a desert landscape and I want fucking knife throwers. Oh, and pop in the clown guy from House of 1000 Corpses somewhere as well.”

“But sir, we’re selling lingerie.”

“Are we? Then we’re also gonna need a billiards table, a big fucking silver plane in the middle of nowhere and an empty mansion that acts as a wind tunnel. I’m Michael Bay and I demand things be awesome!”


Bookmarks for November 3rd

What we’ve been reading – October 30th:

  • The Auteurs Daily: Debating Haneke (and Brecht)
    Ekkehard holds up Lars von Trier as an example of a filmmaker whose works – as opposed to Haneke’s, of course – live and breathe because they all but celebrate their inner contradictions. Haneke’s machines may be smart, but as Oscar Wilde put it, “The wise contradict themselves.”
  • The 10 Criterion Duds
    Bay’s end-of-times explosion porno, Armageddon, is … digitally remastered for all of posterity. Now you can appreciate the full scope of Bay’s inanity while partially losing your hearing—and your will to live—in ear-shattering Dolby surround sound. What’s more, Criterion’s Armageddon comes equipped with all those bonuses that cinephiles and academics have come to expect including previously unreleased footage, “Michael Bay’s gag reel,” and the Aerosmith music video “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing.” Could there be more fitting a film than Armageddon to be bookended by Criterion’s #39 and #41, Tokyo Drifter and Henry V?
  • Hitchcock classics get a remake — in sticky tape.
    Philadelphia-based artist Mark Khaisman has proved you don’t need suitcases of cash for successful movie remakes — he simply raided the stationery cupboard. Using packing tape, he has recreated scenes from favorite Alfred Hitchcock thrillers “The 39 Steps,” and “Spellbound”, among others.
  • Who’s Going To Be The World Series MVP? Forget A-Rod or A. J. Burnett, Give Me Willie Mays Hayes!
    When I think about ballplayers these days, I tend to think about movies. Cinema has given us some of the best and silliest sluggers and hurlers imaginable, and it is these athletes I choose to honor in October, rather than anyone on the Yanks or the Phils.
  • Anderson Looks Up For New Movie
    Now that director Wes Anderson has explored the oceans in “The Life Aquatic” and the lands in “The Darjeeling Limited,” there is only one place left for him to go: Space.
  • Discuss: Which Actors Don’t Belong in Hollywood?
    While we like to try and remain positive around here, WorstPreviews asks the question, Which actor or actress (working today) do you think is so terrible that it makes you wonder how he/she ever made it in Hollywood? Join the discussion over there or leave your thoughts on the matter in our comments section below.
  • 21 Stars Who Should Host The 2010 Oscars
    With Hugh Jackman out this year, here are some great suggestion from readers about who should host the Academy Awards in 2010. Well, some of them are great suggestions. Others are simply suggestions.