• Weekend of Trash XIII


    Well, with my baby daughter being born towards the end of last year I wasn’t sure when I’d next get a chance to get together with my friends for another weekend of watching the best and worst the annals of genre movie making has in store. However, my wife was kind enough to let me out of the house for a couple of days and my parents stepped in to help with the babysitting, so finally the Weekend of Trash is back for its 13th incarnation (backstory and previous write-ups can be found here – I, II, III & IV, V & VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI & XII).

    The reviews are only brief (I’m not about to start writing notes and getting analytical whilst chain-watching women in prison and kung-fu movies) and ratings are largely based on entertainment value rather than quality, so take them with a pinch of salt. I’ve included clips and trailers when possible too.


    Would you like to know more…?

  • Cinecast Episode 342 – Nobody is Happy After a Three Way


    The only regret on this episode is that Matt Gamble couldn’t get Frank (from Film Junk) to cry at some point. From Kurt’s drunken obsession with the female form (seriously folks, it is profound) to Andrew’s bafflement at the hatred for Colin Farrell’s lens flares. It’s a good thing Ryan McNeil is somewhat of a veteran of the show as it takes a special type of mortal to endure this kind of full throttle podcast that only the Cinecast can deliver. Lessons learned: Kurt may or may not have had a three-way, gigolos are “amazing”, Robin Wright’s labia is probably what was in Marcellus Wallace’s brief case. Amongst all the tomfoolery, there is a debate on the merits of the Second Indiana Jones film and Amber Heard should retire yesterday. It’s all in here along with plenty more. Thanks to our guests for sticking it out late; it was a show for the ages – yet we magically come in at under three hours – this is what passes for ‘concentrated’ with this podcast…

    As always, please join the conversation by leaving your own thoughts in the comment section below and again, thanks for listening!



    Here is the Music Player. You need to installl flash player to show this cool thing!

    DOWNLOAD mp3 | 120 MB
    if player is not working, try alternate player at bottom of this post

    Full show notes are under the seats…
    Would you like to know more…?

  • Bryan Cranston vs. Propaganda: New GODZILLA Trailer!


    More character and creeping dread than even the previous trailers, the marketing on Gareth Edwards’ Godzilla reboot just remains stellar, near benchmark really, in how to advertise for a blockbuster franchise film. They’ve kept the goosebump inducing 2001: A Space Odyssey drone in the background, but mainly, it’s Bryan Cranston making us afraid while trying to cut through military white-wash on the level and nature of the disaster. FEMA has always been good at spin, c’est non?

  • Six Annual Row Three Oscar Live Blog and Prize POOL – Oh Yeah!


    It’s hard to believe we’ve been at it this long but alas, it’s true. Once again, Row Three will be Live Blogging the Oscars. For the 6th year in a row.

    Kurt is going to play master of ceremonies (and uber-priss), guiding us through the night with quips and observations but other R3 staff will be dropping in to share in the festivities and if you’ve participated in previous years, you’ll know that things get very interesting as the night (and drinking) progresses. Oh yes, ’tis a barrel of laughs that will never see the light of day again once the event is over so be sure to mark your calendar and drop on by and join us for the action. I cannot guarantee anything but I have a feeling there will likely be more than one “FU” spat at a TV/computer/phone screen. I am saddened that Seth MacFarlane will not be back (Hey, I liked the boobs song, so sue me) but heck, Ellen should manage quite well. She has those magical shoes and all.

      In the meantime, drop your Oscar picks for the main categories

    – Picture, Director, Actor, Actress, Supporting Actor, Supporting Actress, Documentary, Animated, Foreign Language, Original Screenplay, Adapted Screenplay, Cinematography, Best Song, Editing, Visual Effects, Sound Mixing, Sound Editing, Makeup, Production Design and Score —

      in the space below and we’ll send you some Blu Rays if you score the most correct guesses.

    The show kicks off at 4PT/7ET though if last year is any indication, the “official” red carpet will eat into the first 30 minutes of air time with the show kicking off at 4:30/7:30.

    ‘Till Sunday…

  • Blind Spot: Full Metal Jacket



    Going into this film, I’d heard that it breaks cleanly into two parts, and that most people vastly prefer the first part. Coming out of it, the first statement is self-evident, but I ended up liking both parts quite a lot. The first part is set at Marine boot camp, with a hard-nosed drill sergeant putting a group of raw recruits through the wringer. The second part is set in Vietnam, following Joker, one of the more accomplished recruits, now a correspondent for a military newspaper.

    I can see why people like the first half more – it’s tightly focused and basically flawless. As a microcosm of the boot camp world and how it either makes or breaks you, it’s self-contained, intense, and brilliant. On its own, it would work just as well as an extended short film. Vincent D’Onofrio (who I didn’t even recognize) goes from adorable to terrifying, and I believed every second of it.

    The second half is much more sprawling, but that’s what war is. Boot camp is controlled, tight, and regimented. It’s supposed to prepare you for war, but war, especially a war like Vietnam, is unpredictable. There’s no way to prepare for the situations the men find themselves in once they get there, and that’s the point. The first half makes you think the drill sergeant is putting them through hell. But he’s not. War is hell.

    There are lots of other things I could say about the film – most of the music seems incongruous and yet is utterly fitting, which I love. There are a ton of great shots, from the tracking shot leading the sergeant around the barracks in the beginning to the silhouettes against a blood-red sky in Vietnam. I didn’t expect to like this movie all that much, let alone enjoy the experience of watching it, but I did. A lot. I should’ve known to trust Kubrick.

    My Souvenir: There are so many I could take from this. The sergeant’s opening monologue, Pyle’s success (albeit short-lived) with the Joker’s encouragement, the look in Pyle’s eyes in the bathroom, the intensity of the whole sniper showdown, etc. But I think I’ll take a thematic moment. After the sniper goes down, Joker’s face is half lit, half in shadow – his face showing that duality that he previously indicated somewhat facetiously with the “Born to Kill” slogan and the peace sign button. The whole movie kind of comes together at that moment, purely through visuals and symbolic means. That’s what filmmaking is all about.

  • Harold Ramis 1944 – 2014


    Writer, director, SCTV-player, collector of spores, molds and fungus, Harold Ramis has returned forthwith into his place of origin in the sky (or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension) at the age of 69. He died of natural causes (swelling of the blood vessels, if you must know) in the presence of his family.

    Most famous for writing and acting in Ivan Reitman directed comedies (Meatballs, Stripes, Ghostbusters) in the 1970s and 1980s and directing Groundhog Day and the Analyze This movies in the 1990s. He will be missed. Go ahead and have that chocolate bar in the great hereafter, Harold, you’ve earned it.

    More Here.

  • Mamo #341: That’s A Spicy Meatball


    Mamo tries to get back on belated track as the Oscar ceremony roars toward us… we give you our Oscar picks, in case you still haven’t entered your office Oscar pool; talk Guardians of the Galaxy and general awesomeness; and hold a brief memorial for the brave, beautiful Mamo 340. And then Price nearly dies. It’s great! It’s Mamo.

    To download this episode, use this URL: http://rowthree.com/audio/mamo/mamo341.mp3

  • Trailer: The Sacrament


    We posted the brand new poster below and now we have the red-band trailer for Ti West’s The Sacrament. I know, found footage movies feel a bit played out at this point, but this one has the Jonestown factor, there is a lot of tension and suspense (although much of it ‘spoiled’ with this trailer – fair warning) and West really knows how to make the film look very, very pretty.

    Patrick (Kentucker Audley) is a fashion photographer traveling to meet his sister Caroline (Amy Seimetz) at Eden Parish, the commune she’s been living at since she left her drug rehabilitation program. Despite some misgivings over his sister’s vagueness over the commune’s location, Patrick travels to the commune with his friends and co-workers Sam (AJ Bowen) and Jake (Joe Swanberg), who suspect that they might get a story out of the travels. Once there, Patrick is met by his sister, who is happier and healthier than she has been in a while. His friends begin to film interviews with Eden Parish’s inhabitants, all of which speak of the commune in glowing terms. However they soon discover that there is a sinister edge to the commune that belies the seemingly peaceful setting.

  • Review: Tim’s Vermeer


    Johannes Vermeer is regarded as one of the great Baroque painters, along with contemporaries such as Diego Velázquez, and Rembrandt. He’s often considered one of the greatest painters in history. His depiction of light is masterful, incomparable to any of his contemporaries. In the 17th century, the guild system was still firmly in place, not to see its fall until nearly the 19th century. Most, if not all, great masters of art studied in the guilds. They trained, and honed their skills, in order to, hopefully, become a master. Vermeer, however, had no such training.

    It’s common amongst art historians looking for more in-depth knowledge of their subjects to x-ray their paintings. This penetrates the various layers and unveils the artists’ process. You can literally see the painting from inception to final product. In the work of Manet, for instance, such as The Dead Toreador and The Bullfight, when x-rayed, you can see various adjustments: the removal of a matador, the changed placement of a bull, the raising or lowering of a wall. This is common amongst artists of every era. Vermeer’s paintings, however, show virtually no alterations. This is almost unheard of amongst painters of any kind, let alone a Baroque painter of Vermeer’s quality.

    Tim's Vermeer - Camera Obscura

    There has been a wide range of speculation about Vermeer’s practice, as he was not a trained painter, yet rendered some of the most photorealistic paintings in history. Scholars such as David Hockney and Philip Steadman, both experts on Vermeer, have often suggested that the master was as such because of the use of a camera obscura, or camera lucida. Simple tools often implemented by artists in order to help them properly render more realistic scenarios in their paintings. However, they would mostly be used to lay the groundwork for their paintings, never to produce them as a whole, which was what Steadman and Hockney were suggesting. Such speculation both titillated and outraged art historians and scholars alike. To suppose that a master used machinery to render his work would challenge the very notion of art as a practice. It suggests an objective, almost scientific, nature. For many, it was interpreted as a kind of cheat. Would you like to know more…?

  • Friday One Sheet: The Sacrament


    Ti West goes head-first into the realm of ‘found footage’ films with his latest film, The Sacrament. Equally so, it embodies the confusion and tension of the 1978 Jonestown migration and group suicide inside the modern, quasi-fictional narrative. And this brings us to the poster. When you have a charismatic and intimidating religious figure as influential as Jim Jones as your inspiration, you should put him smack dab in the middle of the poster. Outside of Zardoz, this is the one floating head that I can forgive.

    Look back here later in the day for the trailer to the film, via IGN.

  • Review: Hatchet 3


    Director: BJ McDonnell
    Writer: Adam Green
    Producers: Sarah Elbert
    Starring: Danielle Harris, Kane Hodder, Zach Galligan
    MPAA Rating: R
    Running time: 81 min.



    In a conversation I had with a close friend prior to watching the third instalment of the Hatchet series, I had labelled the films as “cute”. Strange looks aside, I stand by that claim. I found both Hatchet 1 and 2 has schlocky b-tier affair. A slasher which may gross you out, but not get under your skin, with a decent enough mythology to keep you relatively interested. Adam Green the writer/director of Victor Crowley and co may have tapped into something with their so-called old school American horror, but even compared to Greens, deeply unsettling Frozen, I can only consider Hatchet as quaint.

    With new director; BJ McDonnell, in tow, Hatchet continues on in the same vain albeit with a bigger budget than the previous two entries combined. You can clearly see where the money’s been spent, with locations and cast being formidably bulked up. It’s a pity that the screenplay doesn’t seem to see too much of this, with much of the films dialogue sounding more shabby than previously. It’s good to know that Green gets the contrivances that a second horror sequel can bring, with an early scene involving the town’s sheriff clearly winking at the convolutions at hand, yet this time round the jokes are decomposing quicker than some of the corpses.

    Finding a dubious way to lure the film’s heroine; Marybeth (a still game Danielle Harris), back to the bloody quagmire, the film diverges into two with an arrested Marybeth being key in a way to take the lumbering fiend out. Meanwhile we have a large group of cops milling around the swamp looking for clues to what happened in the backwaters. One of the narratives is far more entertaining than the other, which only has a classic horror cameo for a punch line.

    Hatchet 3 is silly, schlocky and a tad bland (the violence seems toned down slightly to avoid the issues from the second film), but McDonnell has some fun with the set pieces. The film doesn’t outstay its welcome; there are enough guts for gore hounds to get some thrills while some of the cameos may raise a few smiles. Crowley and his back story; only differs slightly from the likes Leatherface or Jason Voorhees, yet he still remains a particularly watchable oddity in the long line of horror serial killers. There’s enough in Hatchet 3 not to make it a complete washout, but I do not need to see a Latino spin off any time soon.


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