Trailer: The Man From U.N.K.L.E.

Also known as “I’d rather be watching ARCHER.”

Spy spoofs are a dime a dozen, as are Baby Boomer TV shows blown up into unnecessary feature films. After dumbing down Sherlock Holmes for two handsome (but inert) feature films, Guy Ritchie has a free-pass to go hog wild with 1960s production design in this expensive looking update of the era’s TV staple The Man From U.N.K.L.E. Stunts, sex and suave suits ensue as The Man of Steel himself, Henry Cavill, takes the title role along with support from Armie Hammer and Hugh Grant.

At one point, Steven Soderbergh was going to make this film with a screenplay by Scott Z. Burns (Contagion, The Informant!). After seeing this tired mess, I will be watching in my imagination that never-to-be version. Or hell, there are 5 seasons of Archer re-runs on Netflix.

Trailer: Poltergeist 2015

 

Based on the frenetic trailer, I’m about ready to write the Poltergeist remake off; if only for the way a studio horror movie is constructed and paced. A lot has changed 1982 to 2015 and much like the Carrie remake, it all comes down to whether the pace of editing and easy reliance on jump-scares can replace the sweet creepiness (and, admittedly on my part, nostalgia) of the Tobe Hooper original.

Sam Raimi’s Ghost House Pictures is producing the do-over, which stars Sam Rockwell, Rosemarie DeWitt, Jared Harris and Jane Adams along with two really cute kids. City of Ember‘s Gil Kenan directs.

The remake apparently keeps the clown that traumatized the childhood of anyone born in the mid 1970s (and it foregrounds it mightily in the trailer here, knowing its audience). And yet the passing of 30 plus years begs the question of whether modern television sets can even ‘snow-out’ anymore. I thought they just drop to a blank blue screen with the words, “no signal.” An apt enough metaphor for how I feel with the whole reboot cycle we find ourselves in; one which seems to give a similar look and feel to everything going through the grinder and out the other side. ‘Now with more jump scares,’ as it were.

The trailer is below, and the International trailer (with additional footage, but still ADHD in execution) is tucked under the seat.

Would you like to know more…?

Friday One Sheet: Kite

The advance reviews for this live action version of the cult-anime movie may be terrible, but I love the simpliclity of the key hart here. Emphasize the pink hair, the title card and the blood (although inexplicably, the blood to the left of India Eisley’s shoulder is black for some reason.) It is a striking enough image with the ever present fire-arm, a mandatory accessory on nearly all action movie posters.

Trailer: Left Behind

It seems not even the niche Christian-focused blockbusters are immune to the remake bug. Here we see the Kirk Cameron headlined Left Behind franchise rebooted with none other than Nic Cage as a bigger, badder, cheesier bit of rapture-porn. Other than the overt Christian stuff, (“The God my father talked about would never do something like this!”) it’s not easy to distinguish this from any other mid-budget direct to video apocalypse thriller. Lea Thompson and Ashley Tisdale also star.

An airborne 747 is heading to London when, without any warning, passengers mysteriously disappear from their seats. Terror and chaos spread not only through the plane but also worldwide as unusual events continue to unfold. For those who have been left behind, the apocalypse has just begun.

Prepare for mediocrity!


Trailer: We Are What We Are

WeAreWhatWeAre

We are big fans in these parts of director Jim Mickle (who was even kind enough to guest spot on the cinecast), the director previously made dramatically driven genre pictures, Mulberry St. and Stakeland, films that paid very close attention to keeping ‘the family unit’ close together. So Mickle was perhaps an obvious choice when it came time to do an English remake of the Jorge Michel Grau’s We Are What We Are, a film about a family of cannibals dealing with the future after the death of their patriarch and possible discovery in the aftermath. Featuring a superb cast led by Mickle regular (and regular co-writer) Nick Damici, as well as Michael Parks and Kelly McGillis, the remake played Cannes and Sundance and is showing up on VOD at the end of September. Until then, the original is on Netflix Instant.

Check out the trailer below.

Trailer: Unforgiven

I was holding out that we might get an English subtitled version of this trailer a short while after it went up unsubbed at Twitch on Friday, but such is not the case. It’s too long to wait to so here us the gorgeous first look at the Sang-il Lee’s Japanese remake of Clint Eastwood’s 1991 classic Unforgiven. Even if the Zhang Yimou’s Chinese re-envisioning of Blood Simple as A Woman, A Gun and A Noodleshop didn’t quite pan out, I fully expect the awareness of Ken Watanabe (Inception, The Last Samurai, Batman Begins, Letters from Iwo Jima) as well as the source material (and a bit of a hunger for well produced samurai films), to get this a sizeable North American theatrical release at some point. Satô Kôichi and Jun Kunimura co-star.

Trailer: Spike Lee’s Oldboy

Here comes Spike Lee’s remake of Park Chan-Wook’s crazy, ultra-violent comic book flick Oldboy. The fans of the original are legion, for many it was a key introduction to South Korean cinema in the early 2000s, and there has already been a fairly large debate as to what this remake can amount to. But never count out Spike Lee, whose only truly straight-up genre picture was 2006’s Inside Man, which is a feat of filmmaking par excellence. Unsurprisingly, when drunken ad-man Joe Doucett (Josh Brolin) gets mysteriously locked in a cell for two decades, Lee chooses to dwell on major American emotional and political beats on TV. Already, I see them taking a slightly different approach with the daughter (Elizabeth Olsen) and the jailer (Samuel L. Jackson) but they also seem to be keeping the original films signature set-piece, a lengthy fight with a hammer. I expect the rest of the film to be interesting with Lee at the helm, perhaps even better than Scorscese’s remake of Hong Kong genre-film touchstone Infernal Affairs. Time Will tell.

Have a look at the first Red-Band trailer for Spike Lee’s Oldboy, below.

Second Trailer for Brian DePalma’s Passion

For this remake of Alain Corneau’s icy thriller Love Crime, the rivalry between the manipulative boss (Rachel McAdams) of an advertising agency and her talented protégée (Noomi Rapace) escalates from stealing credit to public humiliation to murder. If I recall correctly, the movie was a major divider of cinephiles and casual movie-goes alike when it screened at last years edition of TIFF. Great dollops of DePalma-licious cheese are promised in the second trailer as the director favours, well, uh, passion and heat over the cold french dagger of the original. Easily nudging into self-parody (see also Femme Fatale, and many other examples of the directors work over the past 25 years) this might be the most DePalma-ish DePalma movie ever DePalma’d up on screen. DePalma.

Trailer: Man of Steel

(Holy Shit! Want. This. Now.)

The scope and tone of the Zack Snyder directed Superman feels earnest and emotional in all the right ways. This is the best execution of ‘pure epic’ that I’ve ever seen in a modern comic book superhero movie. Here is hoping that Man of Steel lives up to the incredible expectations engendered by this trailer.