Medieval. Land. Fun. Time.

We simply cannot wait until next Monday (to suck less) so we offer up this bit of fan-editing goofery and childishness. If you ever want to see the piss taken out of HBO’s Game of Thrones, it is here, where the show is re-envisioned into a ‘save the themepark’ type gross out teen comedy. Adventureland eat your heart out. Thrones. Thrones. Thrones. Games. Games. Games.


Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (Season 2)

Against better judgement, but totally worth it, I stayed up very late last night after discovering this little gem from Jerry Seinfeld. Am I just late to the party? Is there a reason I’ve not heard of this internet show before? Because it’s pretty damn great. “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee” pits Seinfeld and some other famous funny face together to just shoot the bull (most often to hilarious results) while driving to some small cafe or diner for coffee.

It’s a great concept. Fans of Britain’s “The Trip” may find some similarities here; though this has rotating characters and a much less scripted feel. Season one (I’m almost finished) was a ball. Michael Richards talking about losing to a bum in chess. Ricky Gervais fearing for his life. Alec Baldwin telling Jerry where and why his career is where it’s at. Carl Reiner perpetuating alcoholism. It’s all here and it’s all gold. And it’s all Free!

Each episode is between ten and seventeen minutes so it’s easy to whip through a season in one evening. Which I already did. So that’s why I’m excited about season 2, which starts tomorrow! Looks like it has even bigger names and bigger laughs – watching Chris Rock and Seinfeld getting pulled over should be a treat. The trailer for season 2 is below. Why is no one talking about this?

Harrison Ford (Doesn’t) Talk Star Wars

Was going to save this until our usual Monday post, but by then everyone will have already seen it. Plus it’s snowing to beat the band across the midwest and I thought those of us stuck in this mess could use a little pick me up. Here’s Harrison Ford getting angry and refusing to answer Star Wars questions on a popular late night take show. And while we’re at it, if you haven’t seen this bit of Star Wars commentary brilliance from Patton Oswalt, this is even more worth a look.

Return of the Moon Walker!

That’s right, the king of pop is back!… from the dead.

Michael Jackson’s hand has been stolen from his crypt in LA!! The culprits: two love-struck leather dwarves, acting on the orders of Dr. Cagliostro, a time-traveling sorcerer posing as the manager of a “punk circus” in Berlin. The mysterious mystic’s mad plan: use the risen Michael to rouse the masses and ignite a global revolution! Realizing something strange is afoot, two lesbian ghost hunter girls and three horny college dudes team up to infiltrate Cagliostro’s circus. Things come to a head when the rapidly decaying Jacko-Zombie Messiah takes over the circus and starts his own “Rainbow Revolution” one that quickly descends into chaos.

I have a couple of friends who were/are pretty die hard MJ fans and I think if I showed them this trailer they’d be legitimately offended and pissed off. Personally, I think it’s mildly amusing fun but don’t expect this in your local multi-plex any time soon. More likely a small festival run and then it’ll be hitting VOD for everyone in March.

Is it going to be “good?” No, probably not, but the trailer is most certainly worth taking a look at. Wait for it…

Noah’s Ark Delayed Due to Flooding

So yeah. Noah’s Ark can’t actually float apparently. Cut and paste jb from IMDb


Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan, The Wrestler) has been filming his Noah film, based on the Biblical tale of Noah’s Ark, at Oyster Bay, NY. To make it as realistic as possible, the director built a massive ark, which measures 450 feet long, 75 feet tall and 45 feet wide. Unfortunately, it was never meant to be sailed. With production wrapping up within the next few weeks, the ark was forced to deal with flooding as Hurricane Sandy passed through Oyster Bay. Emma Watson, one of the actresses on the film, pointed out the irony of flooding being the cause of problems for the production. It’s not clear how much damage was done to the set, but there’s a good chance that some repairs will have to be made. During the delay, Aronofsky wrote that he took the time to catch up on some movies, seeing Cloud Atlas and The Master.

That is all for today’s “Onion-esque” news.

A Video-Primer in Lollywood Trash!


This bit of randomness was prompted by regular listener, Schizopolis (and others), who was intrigued by the homework assignment on the last Cinecast episode. One of the pure, unvarnished joys of my visit to the 2007 Fantasia film festival was my introduction to the horror-cinema of Pakistan. You see, the centre of Pakistani film production is in Lahore but since Pakistan puts out a metric tonne of musicals, this is not unlike their Indian neighbors – thus their national cinema was dubbed Lollywood. But spread throughout the 1960s, 1970s and 1980s, there was a thriving business of ripping off classic Hollywood horror (The poster above is for the film that kicked all of this stuff off, Pakistan’s Dracula – Zinda Laash.) Of course, the industry never really had the kind of money or polished technical gloss to achieve the golden age of Hollywood, so you got something that is so weird and otherworldly in execution. Cultural appropriation magic!

The fine folks at Mondo Macabro and critic/filmmaker Omar Khan, who produced and released Pakistan’s first slasher film, Zibahkhana (featuring a burka-man slasher, pollution-zombies and E.C. comics inspired titles) brought a sizzle-reel of Lollywoods genre efforts to warm up the Fantasia crowd for their film. And it was 18 or so minutes of unbridled awesome. They managed to cheat a bit and sneak in some footage of the Filipino midget martial artist and James Bond wannabe super-spy 00, Weng Weng just for kicks, so they cheated a little bit. I managed to get an collection of these clips (minus Weng Weng) on a DVD, although it just a jumble of stuff and was not nearly as tightly paced as that sizzle-reel. So with an hour or two to spare this evening, I made this video (below) that shows off some of the high points.