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  • 23 May

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    Cinematic Oddity of the Week: Savage Beach (1989)

    3

    Directed By: Andy Sidaris
    Starring: Dona Speir, Hope Marie Carlton, John Aprea

     

    Tag line: “Run for cover. This is no ordinary day in the sun…”
    Trivia:  All principal actresses in this film were former Playboy Playmates

     

     
     
     

    For more Cinematic oddities and reviews, head over to dvdinfatuation.com

    Savage Beach is an action/adventure about drug smugglers, spies, and stolen shipments of gold. It also has former Playboy Playmates in skimpy outfits firing automatic weapons.

    You tell me…which is the stronger draw?

    Donna (Dona Speir) and Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton), two drug enforcement agents based in Hawaii, have been chosen by their superior to transport vital medical supplies to a remote island hospital. The mission is a success, but on their return flight, the girls encounter a severe storm, and are forced to make an emergency landing on a seemingly deserted island. What they don’t know is this island is the resting place of a lost shipment of gold, which the Japanese army swiped from the Philippines during World War II. Many parties (including the United States Navy) are interested in recovering this gold, and descend upon the island to join in a frantic search for its whereabouts. Caught in the middle of a dangerous situation, Donna and Taryn do their best to keep out of sight, all the while dodging a Japanese soldier who’s been stranded on the island since the 1940′s, and believes the war is still going on.

    Savage Beach is exploitation in its purest form. As the story opens, Donna and Taryn, with the assistance of fellow agents (and fellow babes) Patty (Patty Duffek) and Rocky (Lisa London), are conducting a drug raid on a heavily-guarded warehouse. There’s action aplenty in this opening sequence, which features automatic weapons fire, hand-to-hand combat, and even an exploding van. So what’s the first bit of slow-motion we’re treated to? It’s of a topless Patty jumping into a hot tub with her three cohorts (who are also topless) to celebrate their successful raid. Along with the skin shots, Savage Beach also offers lots of dialogue laced with sexual innuendo. In one hilarious exchange, Donna and her “boss”, the muscular Shane Abilene (Michael J. Shane), are reviewing some new weaponry the agency just sent over. “Are you comfortable with a big gun?” Shane asks Donna, to which she replies, “They have their advantages”. “This baby’s bigger than most any other around”, Shane continues, practically licking his lips as he says it. “I’m not as impressed with size as I am with performance” she shoots back, staring into his eyes. And that’s not even the half of it; the exchange goes on for another couple minutes, and gets steamier with each new syllable. By the time they finally packed the damn gun away, I was ready to light up a cigarette!

    So, what’s my final assessment of director Andy Sidaris’ Savage Beach? I’ll sum it up for you in the following two points:

    1. Despite being easy on the eyes, Playboy Playmates don’t make the most convincing Drug Enforcement Agents. On top of that, the action scenes are poorly executed, and the whole “stolen gold” sub-plot is so ludicrously complex that it’s impossible to follow.

    2. As Donna and Taryn are navigating their small plane through that heavy storm, they pause for a moment (in mid-flight, no less) to peel off their wet T-shirts and towel down.

    Now, I ask you, what’s not to love about this film?

     
     

     

  • 16 May

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    Cinematic Oddity of the Week: Freaks (1932)

    5

    Directed By: Tod Browning
    Starring: Wallace Ford, Leila Hyams, Olga Baclanova

     

    Tag line: “The Strangest… The Most Startling Human Story Ever Screened… Are You Afraid To Believe What Your Eyes See?”
    Trivia: Myrna Loy, originally slated for the Olga Baclanova role, turned down the part because she felt the script was offensive

     

     

    For more Cinematic oddities and reviews, head over to dvdinfatuation.com

    Director Tod Browning, who had run away at age 16 to join the circus, came to love the “Big Top”, and all the excitement it had to offer. With his 1932 film, Freaks, Browning wanted to show the world a slice of circus life few on the outside had ever seen, namely the camaraderie and close-knit relationships that formed among the sideshow attractions, sometimes referred to as the circus freaks. But the world in 1932 wasn’t quite ready for Browning’s film, and as a result, Freaks was reviled by both audiences and critics alike.

    Hans (Harry Earles), a circus performer who stands less than three feet tall, has fallen in love with trapeze artist Cleopatra (Olga Baclanova), despite the fact she’s twice his size. Cleopatra initially laughs off Hans’ advances, but changes her tune when she learns he’s about to inherit a large fortune. It doesn’t take long for Cleopatra to seduce Hans, and soon the two are married. With the help of her secret lover, Hercules the Strong Man (Henry Victor), Cleopatra plans to knock off her new husband and collect his inheritance. But when she humiliates Hans in public, Cleopatra incites the anger of the other circus ‘freaks’, who are only too happy to intercede on Hans’ behalf.

    It’s easy to see why Freaks might have been a bit much for it’s 1932 audience. Along with the appearance of such sideshow performers as the bearded lady (Olga Roderick), the half-man/half-woman (Josephine Joseph) and the human skeleton (Peter Robinson), we also meet the Half-Boy (Johnny Eck) who was born without legs, and the ‘living torso’ (Prince Randian), born with no limbs whatsoever. There are other “oddities” as well, like pinheads, Siamese twins (Daisy and Violet Hilton) and a girl with no arms (Martha Morris) who has to eat every meal with her feet. Yet, while these characters are certainly unusual, I don’t believe it was Browning’s intention to simply exploit their various deformities. On the contrary, I get the distinct impression when I watch this film that a mutual respect had developed between the director and his sideshow subjects, and am convinced his ultimate goal was to paint them all in a sympathetic light. That’s not to say there’s no exploitation whatsoever, just that Browning counterbalances it by making the ‘freaks’ genuine characters. In short, he wanted us to see them as the true heroes of his story, and the so-called ‘normal’ characters, who lie, cheat and steal their way through the film, as the tale’s true monsters.

    Upon its release in 1932, critics attacked Freaks unmercifully. The Atlanta Journal wrote that it “Transcends the fascinatingly horrible, leaving the spectator appalled”, and its “shocking nature” resulted in the film being banned in many states. Ultimately, audiences could not accept Browning’s vision, and I truly believe ‘acceptance’ is what the director was after. He set out to show us the inner decency, even the humanity of this special group of performers, men and women who were dealt a blow by life, yet were coping with it as best they could.

    Browning was able to see past their deformities. Unfortunately, at the time, he was the only one who could.

     
     

     

  • 09 May

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    Cinematic Oddity of the Week: Oversexed Rugsuckers from Mars (1989)

    0

    Directed By: Michael Paul Girard
    Starring: Dick Monda, Jean Stewart, Billybob Rhoads

     

    Tagline: “You’ll never trust your vacuum cleaner again!”

     

     
     
     

    For more Cinematic oddities and reviews, head over to dvdinfatuation.com

    After millions of years away, a race of miniature martians returns to earth to check on the progress of their “human” experiment, and from what they can see, it’s been a total disaster. Having left humanity in charge of the planet, the aliens are disappointed to find it in such an untidy state, and decide to change things up a bit by mating humans with vacuum cleaners, so that future generations will be able to clean up the mess their forefathers left behind. Unfortunately, the vacuum they choose as their prototype malfunctions, and is transformed into a sex-starved maniac. With this horny Hoover on the loose, no earthling, male or female, is safe from bodily penetration.

    Imagine a bunch of flat-broke college buddies getting together to make a sci-fi movie, and you have Oversexed Rugsuckers from Mars. There’s nothing particularly “special” about any of the effects; the aliens are made of clay, and brought to life through stop-motion, yet never look like anything more than messy globs sloshing about. As for the humor, it aims low, and even then often misses the mark. When the alien “ship” first arrives on earth, it lands next to a vagrant named Vernon (Dick Monda), who’s asleep on the pavement. One of the aliens, an anatomically correct male, climbs out of the ship and urinates into Vernon’s empty gin bottle. Shortly after the martians fly off, Vernon wakes up, and not to be outdone, rolls over and lets loose a fart. From there, things get downright childish, with highlights including a peeping tom, whose name actually is Tom (Billybob Rhoads), masturbating as he watches his naked neighbor, Rana (Jean Stewart), through her bathroom window, and another scene where Tom gets his comeuppance when he’s anally raped…by the vacuum cleaner! Crass dialogue and tasteless humor run rampant throughout Oversexed Rugsuckers from Mars, none of which is particularly funny. I myself never laughed once, though I must admit I did smile a few times, like when the vacuum first comes to “life”, and is framed against the rising sun, a la the Monolith in 2001: A Space Odyssey (they even play Also Sprach Zarathustra).

    The concept behind Oversexed Rugsuckers from Mars far outshines its execution, yet it was all done in fun, and I was left with the distinct impression everyone making this film had a great time doing so. Oversexed Rugsuckers from Mars is not a good movie. In fact, it isn’t much of a movie at all; it feels more like a class project, and though it probably deserves a failing grade, I’ll give it an “E” for effort.

    With maybe a little extra credit thrown in for its title.

     

  • 02 May

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    Cinematic Oddity of the Week: Spider Baby (1968)

    0

    Directed By: Jack Hill
    Starring: Lon Chaney Jr., Carol Ohmart, Quinn K. Redeker

     

    Tag line: “Spider Baby will give you nightmares forever!”
    Trivia: The film was shot in seven days, between Aug. and Sept. of 1964

     

     
     
     

    For more Cinematic oddities and reviews, head over to dvdinfatuation.com

    The moment the animated credits kick in, which play over a bizarre theme sung by Lon Chaney Jr., you know Jack Hill’s Spider Baby is going to be one strange motion picture. And it only gets stranger from there on out.

    The three Merrye children: Virginia (Jill Banner), Elizabeth (Beverly Washburn) and Ralph (Sid Haig), suffer from a most unusual malady: as their bodies grow older, their minds get younger, regressing to a child-like state which will eventually result in total madness. Since the death of their father, the three have been living in the family’s decrepit old mansion under the watchful eye of Bruno (Lon Chaney Jr.), the chauffeur, who’s gone to great lengths to hide the children, knowing full well they’d be placed in a psychiatric hospital if their true “nature” were ever revealed. This well-guarded secret is in danger of being uncovered, however, when cousins Emily (Carol Ohmart) and Peter (Quinn Redeker) pay them a surprise visit. Joined by their lawyer (Karl Schanzer), these two distant relatives have set their sights on the vast Merrye fortune, and, to strengthen their claim to it, are determined to prove the children should be locked away. But as they’ll soon learn, the Merrye siblings aren’t about to go down without a fight.

    I really like Spider Baby; it has a unique energy to it, a sort of sitcom mentality (think The Addams Family, only weirder) that I found very appealing. Lon Chaney Jr. was fast approaching the end of his career when he made Spider Baby, but does a fine job as the kindly, if slightly misguided, Bruno. On the flip-side, a very young Sid Haig, in one of his first film roles, plays Ralph, the most peculiar of the Merrye children. Acting as if he were about three years old, Haig wanders through the picture without uttering a single word. Of Ralph’s two sisters, Virginia is clearly the most disturbed, believing herself a spider and attacking anyone she catches in her “web” (a messenger, played by Mantan Moreland, is an early victim of Virginia’s, meeting his end in the film’s opening sequence). Throughout the movie, we learn there are other members of the Merrye clan also residing in the huge mansion, including a pair of Aunts and an Uncle in the final stages of the illness, who’ve been locked away in the basement, as well as the rotting corpse of dear old dad, still lying in his bed.

    Spider Baby is, without a doubt, one of the oddest films I’ve ever seen, yet every eccentric character, every outlandish moment director Hill crams into its 81 minutes only adds to the movie’s unusual charms.

     

  • 25 Apr

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    Cinematic Oddity of the Week: Africa Blood and Guts (1966)

    0

    Directed By: Gualtiero Jacopetti, Franco Prosperi
    Starring: Sergio Rossi

     

    Tag line: “You May LOVE It! You May HATE It! But You’ll Not FORGET It!”
    Trivia: Despite having almost half of the original material removed, the English print under the title Africa Blood and Guts is noted as being more gruesome than the original, uncut print

     

     
     

    For more Cinematic oddities and reviews, head over to dvdinfatuation.com

    Originally titled Africa Addio, Africa Blood and Guts caused a bit of a stir upon its release in 1966. Condemned in its native Italy as a racist film, the movie has also been attacked for its scenes of incredible violence, and even though it’s well over 40 years old, I find myself siding with the naysayers; time has done nothing to diminish this film’s ability to shock you.

    Directed by Gualtiero Jacopetti and Franco Prosperi (the creative minds behind Mondo Cane), Africa Blood and Guts is a documentary revealing, in sometimes graphic detail, the political and social upheaval that plagued the continent during the tumultuous mid-’60s. We’re taken to the battlefields of various civil wars, such as those in Zanzibar and Rwanda, which claimed the lives of thousands, and join the big-game hunters as they track and kill as many of Africa’s exotic animals as they can find.

    It’s difficult to dispute the charges of racism leveled against Africa Blood and Guts by censors and critics alike. Early on, as we watch the last British Governor leaving Tanzania, the narrator spouts off at how Europe is “abandoning her baby”, at which point we cut to a celebration in the streets, where native Tanzanians are breaking thousands of Portuguese eggs in protest of that country’s continued colonialism. It’s a theme that resonates throughout the entire picture: European ceremonies of pomp and sophistication are followed by the chaotic, sometimes barbaric rituals of Black Africans, leaving little doubt as to where the sympathies of the filmmakers lie.

    Interspersed between the pandemonium of revolution are many scenes of brutality, most of which take place on the Continent’s various game reserves. In one particularly puzzling scene, a rope is tied between two jeeps, which then speed off in the same direction. Traveling about 20 yards or so apart from one another, they head straight for an entire herd of zebras, tripping the animals as they’re in full gallop. Even if one can excuse the grisly images of the Elephant hunt (carried out by both hunters and natives alike) as a bit of sport, there’s really no “sport” in chasing animals down with automobiles! Not to be outdone, we also witness the violence of man against man, as evident in the static shot of a large pile of hands that once belonged to Watusi warriors, severed as punishment for their uprising.

    Even those going in with a morbid curiosity might find Africa Blood and Guts a difficult film to sit through, and while the movie, at over 2 hours long, is never boring, you may want to think twice before sitting down to watch it.

     

  • 18 Apr

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    Cinematic Oddity of the Week: Australia After Dark (1975)

    0

    Directed By: John D. Lamond
    Starring: Gina Allen, Count Copernicus, Hayes Gordon

     

    Tag line: “At Last! The Australia you’ve always wanted to see but until now … have never DARED!”
    Trivia: This film was heavily censored upon its release in the UK, running 12 minutes shorter than the R-rated Australian version

     

     

    For more Cinematic oddities and reviews, head over to dvdinfatuation.com

    Featured in 2008′s Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation!, Australia After Dark is a documentary that occasionally devolves into an exposé of sex, masochism and oddities galore. It’s an eccentric motion picture, but boy, did I enjoy it!

    Narrated by Hayes Gordon, Australia After Dark takes us on a whirlwind tour of Australia, journeying from one end of the continent to the other and exploring the customs, beliefs, and, unusual “practices” of its native population. Australia After Dark has it all, from exotic restaurants and outdoor festivals to strip clubs and fetish palaces, revealing a side of Australia I guarantee you’ve never seen before.

    How strange is Australia After Dark? Well, here’s a summation of the first dozen or so minutes of the film: We open with a picturesque shot of the Outback, over which Mr. Gordon, the narrator, warns us that what we’re about to see “won’t be all beautiful, but it will be true”. After about 30 seconds spent discussing the plight of the Aborigines, we’re whisked to King’s Cross in Sydney, a “sleazy, grubby, neon-lit” section of town filled to the breaking point with prostitutes, pimps and strippers. There’s a brief scene of a naked woman lying on a bed, then it’s right back to the streets and into an S&M “salon” where we watch two leather-bound men wrestle around a bit before one is led upstairs and tied to a rack (“look at that rack”, Hayes Gordon says, “you don’t see craftsmanship like that these days”). Cut to a riverboat restaurant, where the chef is preparing such tasty morsels as shrimp, snake, and fried grubs. Then, it’s off to an art studio of some sort, where, for a small fee, you too can “decorate” the body of a naked woman. But we’re not done yet. We still have ancient cave drawings to examine, and three nude ladies to watch rolling around on the floor before we’ve hit the 12-minute mark. Seriously, I don’t think “bizarre” is a strong enough word to describe Australia After Dark

    There are smatterings of a legitimate documentary (we visit a museum in Melbourne that was once a gallows, and now features a variety of death masks molded from those who were executed there) tossed together with straight-up exploitation (by way of nude beaches on the Barrier Reef and a behind-the-scenes look at the making of a porn film) before Australia After Dark finally succumbs to temptation, and concludes amid gobs of nudity and the ravings of a sexual prophet (and sometimes drag queen) named Count Copernicus.

    Trust me…this is one movie you won’t want to miss!

     

     

  • 11 Apr

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    Cinematic Oddity of the Week: The Late Great Planet Earth (1979)

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    Directed By: Robert Amram, Rolf Forsberg
    Starring: Orson Welles, Hal Lindsey, Babetta

     

    Tag line: “Heaven and Earth will pass away, but my words shall not pass away. Matt. 24:35″
    Trivia: Portions of the film were shot at the Vasquez Rocks Natural Area Park in California

     

     
     
     

    For more Cinematic oddities and reviews, head over to dvdinfatuation.com

    We kick things off in biblical times, with an elderly man (Beaumont Bruestle) on the run from an angry mob. Doing everything he can to avoid his pursuers, the old man makes his way to the top of a steep cliff, where a younger man (Timothy nicely) hits him on the head with a rock, causing the poor guy to stumble, then plummet a hundred feet to his death. Cut to modern day. His bones are lying on the ground in exactly the same position, and Orson Welles steps into view, bends down, and picks up the old guy’s skull. He examines it, turns to the camera, and says “This was a prophet, a false prophet, some 2,000 to 3,000 years ago. Why did they stone him? He made a mistake, probably”.

    Gee, you think?

    Thus begins The Late Great Planet Earth, an apocalyptic, and painfully dated, vision of things to come. Based on the best-selling novel of the same name, The Late Great Planet Earth sets out to prove that the prophesies recorded in the bible, most notably those in the Book of Revelations, were, at the time, a scant few years away from coming true. Along with the book’s author, Hal Lindsey, Welles interprets the words of the prophets Jeremiah, Isaiah, and even Jesus himself to establish that mankind has just about reached the end of the line.

    And what were these prophecies? What was it that had Lindsey, Welles, and many others believing the late 1970s were the beginning of the end?

    » Read the rest of the entry..

  • 04 Apr

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    Cinematic Oddity of the Week: Teenage Mother (1967)

    2

    Directed By: Jerry Gross
    Starring: Arlene Farber, Frederick Riccio, Julie Ange

     

    Tag line: “Teenage Mother – Means 9 Months of Trouble!”
    Trivia: Director Jerry Gross paid a hospital $50 for the graphic footage of a baby being born that’s featured at the climax of the movie

     

     
     

    For more Cinematic oddities and reviews, head over to dvdinfatuation.com

    Despite what the film’s advertisements might suggest, Teenage Mother is little more than a ’60s educational picture, addressing the then-controversial topic of teaching sex ed to high school students. In fact, aside from a short film that shows, in sometimes nauseatingly graphic detail, the birth of a newborn, there aren’t many shocks in Teenage Mother at all.

    Ms. Peterson (Julie Ange) is a recent arrival at the local high school, brought in by the principal to teach a course on the finer points of sex education. As you might expect, not everyone is pleased with the added curriculum, but Ms. Peterson will soon discover she couldn’t have come at a more crucial time. Arlene Taylor (Arlene Farber), a beautiful, outgoing girl in her senior year, is in love with Tony (Howard Le May), a star athlete who, after graduation, plans to attend medical school. Arlene has been desperately trying to convince Tony to marry her, even going so far as to flirt with Duke Markell (Frederick Riccio), a drug-dealing bully, in the hopes of making Tony jealous. When all else fails, Arlene resorts to lies, telling everyone she’s pregnant with Tony’s child (despite the fact a medical examination has determined she’s not pregnant at all). Convinced her sex education course had something to do with his daughter’s pregnancy, Arlene’s father (George Peters) calls a special meeting of the town council to discuss Ms. Peterson’s future. It’s Mr. Taylor’s hope that this gathering will expose the new teacher as little more than a well-educated pornographer, thus leaving the school with no alternative but to remove sex ed from the curriculum altogether.

    Far from exciting us with scenes of teen debauchery and the occasional glimpse of firm female flesh, Teenage Mother is more intent on preaching at us. Ms. Peterson is not so much a teacher as she is a crusader, spouting off historical precedent and gobs of statistics to justify the need for a class on sex education. When she’s informed that the school’s librarian has refused to carry a copy of Male and Female because of its sexual content, Ms. Peterson takes matters into her own hands, confronting the librarian and outright demanding that she add the text to her shelves. While the majority of the film follows the troubled romance of Arlene and Tony, occasionally spruced up by the illegal activities of Duke (more than a drug dealer, Duke also works as the front man for a local pornographer, who makes a killing selling nudie pics to horny teens), Teenage Mother is a movie driven by its agenda, and it’s certainly not a subtle one!

    Still, Teenage Mother is an interesting time capsule of a movie. Along with a few painfully dated ’60s dance sequences (I almost bust a gut watching Duke strut his stuff at the local hang-out) and some out-of-place stock footage taken at a racetrack, Teenage Mother also offers the first screen appearance of funnyman Fred Willard, here playing the school’s straight-laced athletic director and one of Ms. Peterson’s few supporters. But if its the typical exploitation fare you’re after, then steer clear of this one; the most exploitative thing about Teenage Mother is its title.

     

  • 28 Mar

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    Cinematic Oddity of the Week: Chatterbox (1977)

    2

    Directed By: Tom DeSimone
    Starring: Candice Rialson, Larry Gelman, Jane Kean

     

    Tag line: “The Story Of A Woman Who Has A Hilarious Way Of Expressing Herself”

     

     
     
     

    For more Cinematic oddities and reviews, head over to dvdinfatuation.com

    As you can tell by this series, I love discovering odd, unusual movies, and Chatterbox qualifies as one of the strangest I’ve come across to date.

    Get a load of this:

    Hairdresser Penelope Pittman (Candice Rialson) is deeply in love with her boyfriend, Ted (Perry Bullington), but something’s about to change the nature of their relationship. One night, just after Penelope and Ted make love, a mysterious female voice chimes in, challenging Ted’s skills as a lover. In a fit of rage, Ted storms off, dumping Penelope on the spot. But what he doesn’t realize is the voice isn’t Penelope’s. In fact, Penelope Pittman is about to go down in medical history as the owner of the world’s first talking vagina! Distraught by the sudden appearance of an extra personality between her legs, Penelope pays a visit to her psychiatrist, Dr. Pearl (Larry Gelman), but instead of helping her cope with this outspoken body part, the good doctor takes advantage of the situation and becomes a talent agent, representing both Penelope and her new alter-ego, who they name Virginia. What’s more, Virginia has an excellent singing voice, and after revealing his patient/client’s unusual physical ability to the world, Dr. Pearl has no trouble booking Virginia in all the best nightclubs. Upset with both her unwanted companion and the publicity it’s brought her, Penelope longs to reunite with Ted, while Virginia seeks to experience as much of life, and as many men, as she possibly can.

    » Read the rest of the entry..

  • 21 Mar

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    Cinematic Oddity of the Week: The Story of Mankind (1957)

    4

    Directed By: Irwin Allen
    Starring: Ronald Colman, Hedy Lamarr, Vincent Price

     

    Tag line: “The Story of Men and Their Women From the Beginning of Creation!”
    Trivia: The Marx Brothers never appear together in this film

     

     
     
     

    For more Cinematic oddities and reviews, head over to dvdinfatuation.com

    Vincent Price as The Devil. Peter Lorre as Roman Emperor, Nero. Dennis Hopper as Napoleon Bonaparte. And, if that’s not enough to spark your interest, how about an appearance by all three Marx Brothers? With so many stars taking part in The Story of Mankind, I couldn’t possibly pass this movie by!

    After receiving word that an earthling has developed the “Super H-Bomb”, a heavenly tribunal is convened to determine the fate of all mankind. Should humans be permitted to destroy themselves with such advanced weaponry, or should the heavens intercede, saving earth from total destruction? Speaking on behalf of us all is The Spirit of Mankind (Ronald Colman), who believes strongly in the virtues of humanity, while The Devil himself (Vincent Price), aka “Mr. Scratch”, argues man is a violent being, and has therefore earned its own extinction. Together, the two take a trip through earth’s long history, using examples ranging from Ancient Egypt to World War II to make their respective cases.

    Any hopes that The Story of Mankind might reveal something substantial about the human condition are all but shattered in the film’s opening scene, where two stars, affixed in the heavens, are talking to one another. One star tells the other he’s heard mankind has developed the Super H-Bomb. “Impossible”, the second star replies, “You must be mistaken. Why, they’re not ready, or wise enough to handle it yet”. Yeah, I know…as subtle as an ax to the forehead, right? The film isn’t even historically accurate (Cleopatra didn’t poison her “innocent little brother” to gain the throne. The truth was much more complex, and her “little brother” was far from innocent). So, realizing early on The Story of Mankind fails as both a morality tale and a history lesson, I decided to instead focus on the performances delivered by its gargantuan cast. This is, after all, why I wanted to see it in the first place.

    » Read the rest of the entry..

  • 14 Mar

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    Cinematic Oddity of the Week: The Baby (1973)

    2

    Directed By: Ted Post
    Starring: Anjanette Comer, Ruth Roman, Marianna Hill

     

    Tag line: “Horror is his formula!”
    Trivia:The producer’s son played the part of the baby

     

     
     
     

    For more Cinematic oddities and reviews, head over to dvdinfatuation.com

    A word of warning: The Baby is one weird ass motion picture!

    Released in 1973, The Baby tells the story of the Wadsworth family. Mrs. Wadsworth (Ruth Roman), whose husband walked out on her years earlier, has been raising her three children, two adult daughters named Germaine (Marianna Hill) and Alba (Susanne Zenor), and one baby (David Mooney), all by herself. What makes this particular household so unusual is that “Baby” is 21 years old! Mrs. Wadsworth claims Baby, who still wears diapers and sleeps in a crib, is mentally backwards, but the family’s new social worker, Ann Gentry (Anjanette Comer), is convinced he could lead a perfectly normal life if his mother and sisters would allow him to do so. Hoping to prove criminal negligence, Ann becomes a regular fixture at the Wadsworth home, and spends a great deal of time trying to teach Baby to walk and talk. But as Ann will learn, Mrs. Wadsworth is a very protective mother, and will go to extreme lengths to defend her family, and its secrets.

    Now, I did read up on The Baby before sitting down to watch it, and frankly, it all seemed very bizarre. So, if just reading about the movie left me scratching my head, imagine my shock the moment I saw Baby for the first time. No amount of description could have prepared me for the sight of a grown man in a diaper, who spends most of his day in an over-sized playpen. Baby, played as well as can be expected by David Mooney, was a sight to behold, but like Ann, I got the sense there was more to this story than the family was letting on. Sure enough, when Ann experiences a breakthrough of sorts with Baby, getting him to stand for a short time on his own, Mrs. Wadsworth is none too pleased, staring at a terrified Baby and quietly damning him for showing signs of progress. We then cut immediately to Baby’s room, where Alba is shocking him with a cattle prod, repeating over and over “Baby doesn’t walk, Baby doesn’t talk”. Mrs. Wadsworth does eventually put a stop to the torture…then turns to Germaine and tells her to lock Baby in the closet!

    » Read the rest of the entry..

  • 07 Mar

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    Cinematic Oddity of the Week: Sexy Battle Girls (1986)

    4

    Directed By: Mototsugu Watanabe
    Starring: Saeko Fuji, Kyôko Hashimoto, Yukijirô Hotaru

     

    Trivia: This film was banned in Germany

     

     
     
     

    For more Cinematic oddities and reviews, head over to dvdinfatuation.com

    Produced primarily over a 20-year period, from the mid 1960′s to the 80′s, Japanese Pink films were a genre unto themselves. Soft-core, yet undoubtedly erotic, these movies placed nudity and sex center-stage, often shrouded within bizarre, violent stories. I myself have very little experience with Pink films, but after watching 1986′s Sexy Battle Girls, I plan to change all that.

    Young Mirai (Kyoko Hashimoto) has just transferred to a private all-girl’s school, one that instructs its students in much more than reading, writing and arithmetic.  Under the watchful eye of the headmaster (Yukijiro Hutaru), the girls in this school are being “sold” to local politicians, who use them to act out their most depraved sexual fantasies. More than a perverted criminal, the Headmaster is also the very man who tore Mirai’s family apart.  To gain her revenge, Mirai will unleash her “special power” and teach the headmaster a lesson he won’t soon forget.

    There’s action aplenty jammed into Sexy Battle Girls‘ one-hour running time, but more to the point, there are no less than seven sex scenes, some of which evolve beyond simple soft core into more graphic, not to mention violent, displays of affection.

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