Jurassic World: Trailer #3

The premise looks to be pretty much the same as all of these things: “ooh and aah, that’s how it all starts,” once said Dr. Malcom, “but later there’s running and screaming.” That’s pretty much the staple of a Jurassic Park movie. But this one has a couple of things going for it that I find intriguing at the moment.

First, the idea of a fully functional theme park, complete with thousands of guests, thrill rides and park personnel that include dinosaur trainers. I’ve always liked that idea and have wanted to see it realized ever since John Hammond thought it up. And here it is. Secondly, all out warfare is gonna be awesome. If it goes as over-the-top as it could, this is humans with rocket launchers vs. every manner of genetically engineered dinosaurs.

If the spectacle of these things interest you, I suspect Jurassic World might be the summer blockbuster you’re looking for. I wouldn’t say I’m over the moon about this, but it certainly can’t be any worse that was the snoozefest of Jurassic Park III can it?

MSPIFF 2015 Review: Slow West


Sadly, American audiences refuse to embrace the western genre as they once did. But don’t tell that to the people of Minneapolis flocking to a packed full screening of John Maclean’s directorial debut, starring the great Michael Fassbender as well as Noah Taylor, Kodi Smit-McPhee and… The Hound; who is likely the harriest man I’ve ever seen. But I digress.

Slow West will offer very little to change the minds of modern day audiences; even if it does attempt, on some levels, to gain their trust and admiration. Clocking in at a cool 85 minutes certainly doesn’t hurt and hiring fairly big names or up-and-comers for the main characters further bodes well. Moments of levity and a simple tale all equal perfect escapist fodder for the modern movie goer. And yet they will resist.

But for fans of the contemporary western, there is a lot to love. The film’s title is apropos of the languid pacing the film has to offer. Despite coming in under an hour and a half, it certainly is in no hurry to get anywhere – and I suppose even if they were in a hurry, horseback through rough terrain and scoundrels would be a tricky thing to maneuver quickly. The plot is ever so simple, yet ever so clever that it’s difficult not to be sucked into the slow build of mayhem sure to come as layers of plot reveal.

Would you like to know more…?

Star Wars VII: A New Trailer

I was absolutely head over heels for the first trailer Disney released for Star Wars: The Force Awakens. It was simple, minimal and looked exactly like the original trilogy look – it even had the same feel. JJ Abrams was making something classic without his signature lens flares and hand held space action. It was like coming home.

Despite this trailer claiming to “be home,” the tone feels much more what I think the haters came to expect from this sequel of sequels: Glossier, busier and pandering. Am I still excited? Of course! Only with the caveat that this looks very much like an Abrams joint.

There is some great imagery of a fallen Empire in here.

 

 

Ant-Man Trailer #2

A Marvel movie in which the hero battles a slightly bigger, badder version of himself in the climax. But they’re both tiny.

I like Paul Rudd and I like Michael Douglas. But I’m not much of an Adam McKay fan and this is why. Ant-Man (judging from the first two trailers) looks lazy and unfunny.

Mondays Suck Less in the Third Row

Check out these links:
Type or die
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Han Seoul-Oh Is The Greatest “Fast And Furious” Character
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Ghostbusters’ Keymaster Dog for Your Garden   :(SOLD OUT)
True endings to Disney’s lies…
Alternate Game of Thrones Opening Titles (with soup)



Big Dave Navarro. lolz.

Would you like to know more…?

The “Anals” of Film History – “Human Centipede III” Trailer

Taking the franchise to new lows; not just in subject matter, but apparently in deliberate production value as well, the producers of The Human Centipede III seem to be making an intentional attempt at making one of the most disgusting franchises in film history look more like a Grindhouse picture devoid of suspense or creativity or purpose – but rather just an attempt at laughable stupidity.

Part II (The Full Sequence) was almost literally a piece of shit already, but at least it had some interesting meta-moments and well thought-out characters. This looks like a romp of shithole proportions. Congratulations Dieter Laser, you’re back – and you get to work with Eric Roberts.

 

Super Ticket Episode 5 – No More Funerals

Listen up woman! Shit’s about to get real. We’re not letting some snot-nosed Limey who thinks he runs the world get under the skin of this podcast. No sir, we’re calling in the cavalry. Mamo & Cinecast unite to dislodge any notion y’all got about taints or GPS parachutes. Cars do fly in this universe and damned we’ll be if any sum bitch, especially Jason Statham, is gonna take that away from us. We gots NOS in our brain and petrol in the veins, so sit down, have a tuna sandwich and chill with us. You can have any beer you like; as long as it’s a Corona. This is the Super Ticket, brah! And we’re talking Furious 7. Recognize.

As always, please join the conversation by leaving your own thoughts in the comment section below and again, thanks for listening!

 

 
 

Would you like to know more…?

Mondays Suck Less in the Third Row

Check out these links:
Could the Death Star really destroy a planet?
Tarantino ranks the “Herbie” movies
Indian weight-lifters brawl
How These Famous Music Bands Got Their Names
PTA and Galzer talk Silence of the Lambs
The Tony Hawk of “wheel barrowing” (which is not a thing until jjust now)
Original inspiration for “The Fast and the Furious”
Melting Ice Caps Expose Hundreds Of Secret Arctic Lairs



Would you like to know more…?