Trailer: Flatliners

Behold! The sound of scraping the bottom of the barrel. In this, the year of our lord, Two Thousand and Seventeen, Ellen Page will star in a remake of inessential goofball 1990 young actor showcase, Flatliners. Directed by Niels Arden Oplev (Dead Man Down), and catering to an audience of absolutely no-one, the trailer primal-screams, “Maybe you should be watching Final Destination 3.” Words cannot describe how un-interesting this idea is at this point in time. People should be sacked, which is the only reason why I am posting the trailer (above) in the first place. Ellen. Ellen. Ellen. Did you need a new swimming pool that much?

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Andrew James

Three things.

1) We always ask for remakes of movies that weren’t all that good that could’ve been good rather than remaking movies that are already good. Looks like we sorta got our wish here.

2) This was kind of already done earlier in the year with Robert Redford and Jason Segal in The Discovery (which was mediocre).

3) I’m pissed that Perry Farrell would sign away the rights to the opening track of “Nothing’s Shocking”. Lame man, lame.


What a bizarre idea for a remake no one wanted. I guess the only plot difference so far is swapping Kevin Bacon’s character for Ellen Page. Falling Down would make more sense as a Joel Schumacher remake nowadays, though I still have a guilty soft spot for the original.