Director: Patrick Lussier (My Bloody Valentine, White Noise: The Light)
Screenplay: Patrick Lussier, Todd Farmer
Producers: René Besson, Michael De Luca
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Amber Heard, William Fichtner, Billy Burke, David Morse, Todd Farmer, Christa Campbell
MPAA Rating: R
Running time: 104 min.

I think the time has come for us to give up any hopes and dreams that Nicolas Cage will ever act again. We simply have to face the fact that he’s too far in debt and simply has to keep making craptacular stuff to pay the bills. It’s not a bad thing really. Never has it been so much fun to watch an actor lose his shit as it has been with our friend Nic Cage. And I’m not convinced it’s all about the paycheques. I really believe he loves these batshit crazy roles. It’s too bad they’re not all on level with Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans.

So if you’re Canuck director Patrick Lussier and his long time writing partner Todd Farmer and you’re looking to make an over-the-top action comedy about a dude that escapes hell to save his granddaughter while being chased by a group of cult crazies and Satan’s accountant, then batshit crazy Cage is exactly who you want for the job – it’s just too darn bad that Cage didn’t really show up to the job.

Even with Cage kind of sleepwalking through the screen, Drive Angry 3D is a good time. Cage’s Milton (oh snap! Did you get the literary reference ‘cause I totally did) escapes from Hell to rescue his baby girl from a crew of crazy ass cultists led by the biggest bad ass of the bunch Jonah King. Milton contrives to meet Piper, a hot chick with a hotter car (’69 Charger bitches!), and all along you can’t help but think he just wants the car (admit it. You would too). He rescues her and then proceeds to drag her along for the ride which includes facing off against Satan’s badass accountant, the crazy cult members who really love their guns and naked women and then ultimately, King who thinks he’s indestructible. One word for you asshole: mistake.

The stunts are big and stupid, the acting from Cage is big and stupid and the 3D is big and stupid but hell, if you’re going to go for it, you might as well go all the way. What I can’t figure out is how Lussier and Farmer manage to write a character like Piper who actually kicks serious behind on her own (and there are a few of these ass-kicking girls in this movie) and then fill the film with other women who are nothing more than sexual objects. It’s a little infuriating bur frankly, the movie isn’t worth getting angry about it.

Cage isn’t painful but he’s rather bland here but thankfully, he has some pretty excellent help keeping the story moving along. Amber Heard is not only easy on the eyes but completely believable as the no bullshit sidekick, William Fichtner’s performance rivals Peter Stormare’s Satan as my favourite demonic entity and then there’s Billy Burke who rocks the crazy/dirty cult leader role. This is definitely not Bella’s lovable dad.

I can appreciate that when Lussier decides to go 3D, he shoots in 3D avoiding the problems of crappy conversions so at least Drive Angry doesn’t suffer from those but the gimmick is also unnecessary and outside of a few cool factor scenes, it adds little to the movie – save yourself the $2 premium. But do see it. If you’re looking for a good time and you can take a bit of bad taste, Drive Angry is the movie for you. It’s loud, it’s crass and a hell of a good time.

Links:
IMDb profile
Official Website
Flixster Profile for Drive Angry 3D