A day late and a buck short, but chock ‘o block with titles that the Row Three regulars have been digesting over the past fortnight. Here is a sampling of capsules for films that have not been written about elsewhere on the site yet passed pleasingly across our eyeballs. The full archive of these capsules can be accessed by clicking the icon on the side bar.

Woman on Top (2000) 1.5/5
Just to prove I’m not completely biassed, here is a Penélope Cruz film that I couldn’t make it all the way through; it was just too painful. Woman on Top is a paint by numbers love triangle story that is supposed to be hip and with it because it spans the globe (well, from Brazil to San Francisco anyway). The film tries to be light and fluffy by implementing effects that would work if Julie Taymor were directing; but since she’s not (it’s Fina Torres), they are embarrassing. Faces literally turning bright red from spicy foods, flowers magically blooming when a pretty woman walks by, etc. There’s even this broadway-esque moment in which the entire male population of a section of San Francisco follows Penélope Cruz down the street. It’s so out of place from the rest of the picture that it becomes a joke. It’s so obvious the movie was made simply to showcase Penélope Cruz’ good looks. And while I can get on board with that to some extent, I have the internet for that purpose, so there has to be something of interest to latch on to. Alas there is not. The first Cruz film I am disgusted and disappointed to say is really, really bad. -ANDREW

Sita Sings the Blues (2008) 3.5/5
The brilliance of the concept and the fact that this film was animated completely by the hands and mind of one person is reason enough to recommend Nina Paley’s retelling of the myth of Rama. The fact that it is a fusion of myth, modern self awareness and ear-pleasing jazz-pop vocals makes for a lot of unconscious grinning and infectious toe tapping. My only beef with this film is that the director felt it necessary to insert her inspiration/epiphany into the mix which comes across as clumsy at best, self indulgent at worst. (Or is it simply filler to get the handsome picture up to feature length, something it barely squeaks into at 80 minutes. In the end, Annette Hanshaw, an obscure singer even in the 1930s, whose music is resurrected and repurposed for the films soundtrack, is likely to win a lot of new fans. -KURT

Kill Bill Vol. 1 (2003) 4.5/5
As an exercise in collage: cut and paste, trace and re-purpose, Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill Vol. 1 is benchmark. Mixing black and white photography, step-printing, split screens and animation, the film combines elements of old time and modern samurai, shaw brothers kung-fu, 70s horror, and spaghetti western to dazzle the senses in a pure tribute to genre filmmaking. Is there a message or a point to this film? No. But don’t let that stop you from soaking in a series of brilliantly assembled set-pieces and a kick ass soundtrack. Buttered popcorn for the soul. -KURT

My Voyage to Italy (1999) 4.5/5
My Voyage to Italy does for Italian cinema what Scorsese’s Personal Journey through American Film did for the U.S.A., which is take us on a spirited ride through some of the movies that inspired the filmmaker early in life to undertake a career in film. As it happens, the works that aroused the artistic spirit of Martin Scorsese also managed to arouse it in others; from the silent epic Cabiria, which stirred the imagination of pioneer D.W. Griffith so profoundly that it led to the creation of his own epic, Intolerance, through the Neorealist films of Rossellini and De Sica, which acted as a springboard for French New Wave directors like Truffaut and Godard, Italian movies have left an indelible mark on cinema the world over. Scorsese covers all of these, as well as the careers and works of other great Italian directors such as Fellini, Visconti, and Antonioni in this in-depth, four-hour documentary. So while My Voyage to Italy is, indeed, every bit as personal a journey for Scorsese as his American project several years earlier, it just so happens that this time around, the films that touched him so deeply also happened to touch the entire world. -DAVE

God Grew Tired of Us (2006) 3.5/5
An interesting documentary that reminds me, minute by minute, how lucky I am to be born where and as I am. Four young men who have escaped the atrocities of war, famine and genocide of Sudan (part of hundreds of young boys known as The Lost Boys) are given the chance to come to America to “seek their fortune”; paid for by volunteers and the American gov’t. It is just too much fun to watch these boys (who do speak English) start from scratch after leaving their world country and learning about all of the things we take for granted (a pop can, a light switch, a stick of butter, a lawn statue, a mattress, Santa Claus). It is not only fascinating, but also hilarious in a guilty way… yet a bit sad and tragic too. We watch the boys try to understand American culture and weave their way in by getting jobs, finding friends, etc. When one of the young men locates his family (whom he hasn’t seen in 17 years, he quits school and works his fingers to the bone to bring them to America). It’s touching, heart-warming and tragic. Much of the film does drag a bit with the mundane, but labeling the other parts as interesting would be an understatement and is well worth a watch. Be sure not confuse this title with another similar film, Lost Boys of Sudan, which is shit. – ANDREW

Dear Zachary (2008) 4/5
Along with Jonathan Caouette’s Tarnation, Dear Zachary ranks amongst the most professionally assembled home movies of all time. Not only is the story made up of emotional hot-buttons and fist-shaking impotence by the ‘good guys’ to be burned, but director Kurt Kuenne has assembled it together with satisfyingly visceral editing techniques that should land him a job with Tony Scott some day. In the end, the film is as effective as one could hope for, making the film one of the biggest word-of-mouth successes of last year. -KURT

Son of Rambow (2007) 2.5/5
Not the fun DIY film I had anticipated or heard about. In fact, I almost wonder if I watched the right film that I heard so many great things about. What I watched was a depressing story of divided families, anti-religion, rebellion, bullying, self loathing, ethnocentrism and barbarism – nary a smile to be cracked. Sure, we know everything will all be buddy-buddy by the end, but in between is a strange mix of coming of age and anti-establishment. All of this is attempted at through a fun way {stick-on tattoos, cola and pop-rocks (in lieu of hard drugs), BB guns, etc.}, but I felt like I was seeing through the farce and watching a group of kids struggle through a very harsh existence. This is not Michel Gondry doing Be Kind, Rewind. This is more like Rian Johnson’s Brick without the spark. I appreciate the idea and much of the artfully made premise (particularly the animated, imaginative bits) and I could even appreciate the subject matter. But a little bit of a heads-up would’ve been nice. I did not get the fun, bubble-gum, popcorn movie I had hoped for on a Saturday afternoon. -ANDREW