Director: Ken Kwapis (License to Wed, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants)
Screenplay: Abby Kohn, Marc Silverstein
Producer: Nancy Juvonen
Starring: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston, Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Connelly, Kevin Connolly, Bradley Cooper, Ginnifer Goodwin, Scarlett Johansson, Justin Long
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running time: 129 min.

I really wanted to like He’s Just Not That Into You and honestly, can you blame me? I love a good mindless romance as much as any other background muzac film but the trail of recent offerings was too “fluffy” even for me so when the prospect of being swept away for 90 minutes by Justin Long and Ginnifer Goodwin glided across the horizon, I prepped for an evening of mindless relaxation. Apparently, that wasn’t meant to be.

My first attempt to see this on opening weekend failed miserably with sold out shows (obviously a result of the February movie release doldrums) but with girlfriend in tow we headed out for a screening this past week. Tuesday night, film has been out for two weeks and oh sweet baby jesus, it’s a full house. The estrogen in the room was palpable as hundreds of (mostly) women settled in to be equally entertained. They seemed to get their fill where as I remained unmoved (not surprising), un-laughing (probably not a word yet but it is now) and down right unhinged (unexpected). Oh Mr. Kwapis, what have you done!?

I was’t expecting some ground breaking, life-changing experience from He’s Just Not That Into You but I also wasn’t expecting to walk out so darn angry unsure of which direction to shout; Kwapis for making the film, the actors for starring in it or Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo for writing the book it’s based on to begin with. Where does an idea go so wildly and wrongly out of control? On further thinking, and trust me, I’ve given this movie and its “messages” much more time than it deserves, I’ve come to the conclusion that perhaps I’m out of my element on this one and judging from the response from the other women in the audience and the staying power of this film, which should have disappeared from public consciousness a week after it’s initial run, it’s safe to assume that I just missed the boat.

It stars off well enough with a little girl being told that when a boy is mean to you it actually means he really likes you and over that comes Goodwin explaining that we’re wrongly programmed to believe such dribble. Finally! A woman with sense! Except that only minutes later we meet Goodwin’s character of Gigi, a desperate woman who will do almost anything to meet a guy. But that’s only the beginning! We also have to take in Mary (Drew Barrymore), the sob-story of a woman who, apparently, only meets men online and is constantly going on about being rejected by “seven different technologies” (that line was funny the first time), Neil and Jen (together at last!) a happily unmarried couple on the rocks because she wants to get married and he doesn’t, and the four way relationship involving a cheating husband (Bradley Cooper), an angry wife (Jennifer Connelly), a dimwittedly bitchy mistress (Scarlett Johansson) and her back-up boyfriend who she doesn’t sleep with (Kevin Connolly). How does Justin Long fit into the equation? You don’t want me to go there. No, I don’t want to go there; I still want to see his next movie.

And it all culminates into, get ready for it, a happy ending. Oh yes, everyone ends up happy in their own way. So the romantic film that sold itself as not having any of the typical chick flick clichés ends with the most common of them all: the happy ending. I second the thought that this film is “a work of sadistic genius.”

Technically speaking, the film is quite solid with good performances from most of the cast. It was nice to see the fabulous Ginnifer Goodwin make a splash (especially since lately, she’s been the only reason to watch “Big Love”), Justin long has, surprise!, screen presence while Jennifer Connelly is given most of the heavy emotional lifting to do and does a great job (though her performance reminded me a great deal of her turn in Little Children. Not a bad thing, just saying). Even Scarlett Johansson who I typically dislike, is perfectly cast in her role and does the unthinkable: she acts. I know. Hard to believe but it’s true. There are some other missteps including the sometimes obtrusive music cues and the “too many characters in the pot” problem which leave some of the story lines half baked but that’s to be expected with this many Hollywood heavy hitters in one film.

And so it comes down to the full package, the feelings and emotions that He’s Just Not That Into You raises and on that front, this film is the antichrist. Mind you, if I was in a dating scene which included having to deal with men that think they are god’s given gift to women, I’d probably be a little more understanding but I refuse to forgive this film its major fault: the fact that it’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing offering up sugar coated “realities” and then stuffing them full with unrealistic people.

I think I’ll go watch The Jane Austen Book Club now. At least it didn’t leave me feeling like my female card was about to be revoked because I didn’t live through or know anyone who had lived through that drama.