[...Day 5 of the 12 Days of Christmas review project...]
Director: Lee Harry
Writers: Lee Harry, Joseph H. Earle, Death warmed over
Starring: Who cares?
MPAA Rating: R – should be “SA” for sucks ass
Running time: 88 min. wasted of your life
Year of Release: 1987
This could officially be the worst movie I have ever seen. Ever seen. I don’t believe we have a graphic for a zero star film, so I had to settle for half of a star; but there is not one good thing about this movie. Not one. There is not even one mildly mediocre thing about this movie. It is terrible terrible terrible.
In fact, the movie can’t even be reviewed properly because half of (yes, HALF) of the movie is just footage from the first film. The main character is the younger brother of the killer from the first film. He’s in a detention center and recounting the events from the first film to a psychiatrist. In doing so, the director decides to just insert footage from the first film to “get us up to speed.” Let me repeat this: the entire movie is one hour and 28 minutes in length. The first 45 minutes of the film is just clips from part one. I had to fast forward through most of it as I had just seen this the night before. What a rip off!
Next, the main character – I don’t even care what his name is – is likely the worst acting job I’ve ever seen. And I’m not exaggerating or just saying that to pound this movie. I honestly can’t think of a worse performance by an actor from any movie I’ve ever seen. If I have to see those eyebrows raise one more time, I might just decide to stand outside in the Minnesota sub-zero temperatures naked rather than subject myself to that again.
So finally we get past all of the rehashing of the first film and maybe something will happen with this one. Well, yes and no. The main character (oh I remember, his name is Ricky) kills his psychiatrist (which we don’t even see happen) and miraculously manages to escape the compound (which again, we don’t see). He then heads back to the orphanage where he grew up and kills mother superior. The end. We do see a bit of Ricky’s back story in which he shoots some people and strangles his girlfriend, but I’ve never seen less interesting kills.
The only good things I can think about this movie are: A) some good clips from the first movie and B) I was able to fast forward through most of it since I had seen it the night before. There are not enough adjectives or time in the day to describe the 100% awfulness of this flick. It could be one of those “it’s so bad it’s good” movies, except it’s not even its own movie! It rips off half its material from the superior part one. Even Ricky would be funny if he wasn’t so damn annoying.
Stay away. Run for your lives. I would present Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 with the Andrew award for worst movie I’ve ever seen, but I don’t want my name anywhere near this shite.
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