Finite Focus: Warriors of the Lost Wii (Warrior of the Lost World)
There are always joys to be had with Italian cheapo-productions of American genre staples. No I am not talking about the artistically lauded Spaghetti Western subgenre or the collective works of Mario Bava, but rather all of those Hercules and Sinbad flicks that starred Steve Reeves, or Luigi Cozzi‘s infamous Star Crash, that 1978 science fiction flick starring David Hasselhoff and Christopher Plumber. Even Sergio Corbucci‘s gloriously off-kilter police superhero flick SuperFuzz dwells in the bad but watchable territory. I could go on, but really, you don’t want me to. Most of them, however, are quite tedious. And that brings us to David Worth‘s blatant, thoroughly inept riff on Mad Max, early era James Bond and Georg Orwell’sNineteen Eighty Four. Indeed, blatant and inept (note the particularly verdant post-apocalyptic countryside) enough that even fans of the film (who else would watch this?) to refer to it as ‘Sad Max.’
I guess Warrior of the Lost World is either known due to the presence of the bald chick from Star Trek: The Motion Picture, that would be Persis Khambatta – here with hair, as well as Donald Pleasence as the villain and Fred Williamson as the side-kick. Maybe it was the sheer awesome-ness of the opening music (here). Or perhaps that it was opened the fifth season of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. What is memorable about the picture is a the boss-villain, a huge armoured vehicle that climaxes the big road chase at the end of the film. This lumbering hybrid of a municipal garbage truck and a tank cleverly named “Mega-Weapon” to shorten down further on ridiculous exposition. Well, that and the KITT-like talking motor bike driven by our bland-ass hero (Robert Ginty – actually last seen in single episode stints on Murder She Wrote, Simon & Simon and Knight Rider). You see Mega-Weapon is pretty inept and silly, but nowhere near as annoying as the talking motorcycle. The twerpish vehicle constantly screeches silly commentary in a high-pitch voice, always repeating itself, and even flashing big Atari 2600 blocky-text on the display panel in between the Handlebars. When **Spoiler** Mega-Weapon crushes the bike by running it over, there is much rejoicing from the audience.
So I pass this annoyance along to you, because we just picked up a Wii Fit for the family a couple days ago, and that little ‘weight-scale mascot’ is a dead ringer for that annoying talking motorcycle. Sure, the fitness game is a lot of fun, but during the calibration of the weigh-scale device when it starts with the “Step On. Step On.” – Where’s Mega-Weapon when you need him?